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| Now showing answers: 1 - 15 |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - How do batteries work? |
| Signed: Klangbang McFangstang |
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| Dear Klangbang McFangstang: |
| - It's really very simple: batteries work by going over there and staring at the cover of Newsweek magazine for 13 straight hours. Of course, it's the same process we use for just about everything in life.
Why do you think Newsweek is still in business after all these years? Without them, nothing would ever get done! |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - if you strangle a smurf what colour would it go? |
| Signed: karla |
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| Dear karla: |
| - You know? I'm not all that certain. If you were to get the chance, I would love for you to try it out and report your findings... not that I wouldn't jump at the opportunity to strangle one of those annoying little $#%&s.
Thanks for dropping by! |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - Have you heard about the Internet? If you have, you should write an editorial about it. I'm sure people would love to know your opinion! |
| Signed: SMUD |
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| Dear SMUD: |
| - It all started in 1930's Tulsa. A group of young Oklahoma farmers calling themselves the 'Dancing Femur Twins,' met privately and decided to mail order some zinc plated gravy spoons.
They were certain that this would prevent the formation of various land masses in eastern Europe. Their theory remains untested, however, because they never received their spoons. Till this day, Hustis Jenkins is standing by his mailbox, waiting for his order to arrive.
The brave souls of that consortium, having so little else to do, still managed to completely miss the opportunity to invent the Internet; an enigma, an elusive pipe dream that still taunts its' forebears and remains just out of our reach.
Maybe one day, hundreds of years from now, such a thing will exist. Until then, there is always Jenga. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - Why? and who? tell me now before i lose my face! |
| Signed: Parakeet Guy |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - Simple...the Peloponnesian war. I'm guessing Julia Child. Hopefully, I was expedient enough to save your leg. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - I Liked Your Site |
| Signed: Sally Kraus |
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| Dear Sally Kraus: |
| - Does that mean that you don't like it anymore? |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - cool site |
| Signed: Sally Kraus |
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| Dear Sally Kraus: |
| - If that's a question, I'm a left handed kangaroo with cerebral palsy. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - cool site |
| Signed: Jim Dobson |
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| Dear Jim Dobson: |
| - Thanks. I like to keep it around 76 degrees farenheit. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - When my husband surprised me with a beautiful parakeet, he was very health, and did not shed any hair. Now he is shedding hair all the time. I would like to know what is wrong with it. I feed him food for parakeets; does he need suppliments? I also bought some bedding for the cage hoping it will catch the hair, but no success. Can anyone tell me what to do, or what is wrong with my bird? |
| Signed: camelia elcott |
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| Dear camelia elcott: |
| - Hairy canary! Without seeing the bird, I'm afraid I can't offer much help.
As far as supplements, I suggest maybe a Subaru, a small bass boat or maybe a nice 50" plasma TV. The shedding can be contained by lining the cage with Shell no pest strips. Bedding is best left to the experts...try Sealy Posturpedic! |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - http://www.mysik.net/ss/003/ |
| Signed: Bob Denver |
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| Dear Bob Denver: |
| - No excreting in the igloo department! On Gilligan's Island, there were only bathing appliances made of bamboo and coconut husks, so I think this entry has been invalidated. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - The house is broken down so i really felt a frown .Got a question for the all-knowing TPG? Ask away.
Your name?
Your e-mail address? |
| Signed: Hmhmhahaha |
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| Dear Hmhmhahaha: |
| - How does a frown feel? I seem to recall that it takes 2,841 muscles to drive a school bus, but only 9 to frown. So turn that upside down frown into a -- a frown!
I don't have any questions for myself right now, but do check back when I've had time to give myself a good talking to. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - Hey i did some experimenting on the splatters and i found that they were just 9, 9 shoes. It all works. Not 7 and not manuel. 9,9 and jester. it's all good. HOW WAS YOU WINTER? Did YoU fInD aNy InTeReStInG fInDs?
-Cheese |
| Signed: Hmhmhahaha |
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| Dear Hmhmhahaha: |
| - Well, Cheese, I'm glad to hear you haven't lost your enthusiasm for matters of the splattered variety. I am at a loss as to how you came to the conclusion that they were just '9, 9.' It has been my experience that most splatters were more or less various loose solids or liquids dispersed in a random fashion adhering to the nearest substrate. Go figure!
As far as winter goes, it was cold. Finds are becoming harder and harder to find. I find that finding finds has reached its' wall of diminishing returns and is no longer worth attempting. Aloha! |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - Dear Parakeet Guy:
Could you explain Cardano's Formula in plain pig latin? After all, my dog just turned 42 and I'm having trouble keeping the dishwasher in alignment (which is causing my girlfriend to have the sniffles). Any amount of cash would be helpful,
thank me |
| Signed: north by north south |
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| Dear north by north south: |
| - Ardanocay's ormulafay isay, oh forget that. Your dog will be 1,736 by time I finish that answer. Let's just say I don't know and move along, shall we?
Your girlfriend's sniffles can be cured by pulling her head out of the dishwasher. The alignment has little to do with it. It shouldn't really be in there anyway unless she is expecting family or a bacterial infection prevents her from doing so.
However, bad alignment can affect the quality of your salivary glands. I would move the washer about 490 feet closer to Argentina.
Money? HA HA HA HA! Consider myself thanked. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - Does your amigo flanker take its stride from an oppossum vulva? |
| Signed: Titty McLusky |
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| Dear Titty McLusky: |
| - Of course. Why would you even have to ask? |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - If you climed a ladder and you heard something splatter would that be Diarrhea? and if you tried to pet (french for fart) and you felt something wet would that also be considered Diarrhea? |
| Signed: Hmhmhahaha |
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| Dear Hmhmhahaha: |
| - Not necessarily. It could be a wet sock, spaghetti, mashed potatoes, a 1959 DeSoto or one of your aging relatives.
I'm not sure I understand your fascination with loose stool. Unless I was there to witness the event, I would be hesitant to take a guess as to what the substance was that followed a natural bodily occurrence. Theoretically, it could be almost anything!
If you explore the matter further and discover what the mystery substance is, be sure to stop back by and let us in on your find. |
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| Dear Parakeet Guy: |
| - If a duck had lips could it whistle? and also, How Many Shoes? and Who?
No time to say "Hello" "Goodbye"
I'm late I'm late I'm late |
| Signed: Hmhmhahaha |
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| Dear Hmhmhahaha: |
| - Sure it could. The question is, would it want to? 7. Manuel. Well, you'd better get going then.
Thanks, ok? |
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